When I was a kid, I didn’t understand the difference between cartoons and actors, and I actually thought that cartoons were people dressed up. It’s likely that you too had some seriously funny misunderstandings as a kid, which means you’re totally going to relate to these tweets about hilarious things people misunderstood as children. I wasn’t the only member of my family misunderstanding things on the regular. When we were kids, my brother had some misconceptions between my mother’s preferences and actual laws. For example, he thought he could be arrested for chewing gum in a store or for wearing shorts to a restaurant. Kind of like this person on the website Little Atoms: “I misunderstood the superstitions around opening umbrellas indoors or putting shoes on tables, and for much of my childhood believed both were illegal.”
In kindergarten I thought that people threw up when all the food they ate piled up their stomaches and finally reached their necks, at which point they had to get rid of it to make way for new food. Similarly, another person on Little Atoms admitted: “I thought that teeth were always falling off and growing again. Up until when I was 12, when I made a remark that my teeth hadn’t fallen recently and friends told me the truth.” So what’s the funniest thing you misunderstood as a wee one? No matter what your story is, you’ll totally relate to these hysterical tweets.
1This Actually Makes Total Sense
Because there really wasn’t a word for adulting when you were a kid, it’s totally reasonable that you might confuse adultery with adulting like Jennifer Wright, who posed the question about childhood misunderstandings on Twitter.
2Because All Animals Are Cute, Obviously
Before you could just ask Siri, it was pretty common to mix up words. Though, I would have totally brought my outrage to my mom and demand she explain why magazines were calling animals ugly.
3Wait, Cottage Cheese Isn’t Made In A Cottage?
Discovering that cottage cheese isn’t made in a quaint country house is just as devastating as learning that elves don’t make cookies in trees or that Santa isn’t real.
4Because, It’s Obviously Made At College
Cottage cheese is clearly something cheesemakers to learn to whip up in college. And, they’re totally churning it in a lab that looks like a cottage.
5What Other Explanation Is There?
I mean, of course Lady Gaga lives in my phone and sings just to me. This makes complete sense.
6Seahorses Are Real?
Because you can get them in a little pack and make them grow in water, it’s totally understandable why you might think seahorses are as real as unicorns, which are also real.
7Let’s Have A Talk About How Cubed Water Works
Where would one get a giant cube of hot water, and why aren’t there hot-water cubes anywhere else? I have soooo many questions.
8It Depends Where You Get Married …
I can see how you could misunderstand this one. My dad got married at a courthouse when I was nine, and my divorce at a different courthouse was pretty similar.
9Yes To All Of This
Because of black and white TVs, I totally thought my parents were raised in a muted world like in the movie Pleasantville.
10When Your Hand Is Mad At You
With no one to lay out the mysteries of handedness to curious kids, how else do you explain why your left (or right) hand is so much more awkward than its twin?
11It Was A Flood, Sort Of
While Watergate didn’t actually hold back any water, it did conceal a flood of lies, so this one is pretty on point.
12There HAS To Be Art In Heaven …
If this isn’t true, why would anyone want to go there?
13Then How Did You Live?
Oh, those carefree days before the word “drink” was synonymous with alcohol.
I guess this is one way to define a death sentence.But, at least you got to be in a movie first, so there’s that.
15When Your Family Is Really Vampires
I mean, honestly, who didn’t confuse Pennsylvania and Transylvania? I also though that Transylvania was a made up place just for vampire movies.
16The People In The TV CAN See You!
After seeing Poltergeist — where the girl is sucked into the TV — at an inappropriately young age, I can completely understand why someone would think people on TV could see them.
17‘Sexual’ & ‘Sophisticated’ Are Two Different Things?
Honestly, I had a similar experience at a drug store with my mom. I’m still recovering from the embarrassment.
18Let’s Just Stop Using The Phrase ‘Making Love’
Most commonly heard on soap operas, the phrase “making love” was pretty confusing for a lot of kids.
19We’re Staying In A ‘Condom’
Can you imagine going to school and telling everyone that you’re going on vacation with your family and staying in a time-share condom?! Bahaha!
20I Need Some Pads For My Pride
Really parents, you need to explains things to us like we’re Jane on Blindspot — brand new and without any context for what you’re talking about.
21What Else Could ‘Fired’ Mean?
When I was a kid my mom used to tell me that if she didn’t go to work she would get fired. Obviously I spent an inordinate amount of time worrying my mom would catch on fire because, what else could it mean?
22I Am Literally Laughing Out Loud
Similarly, when I got my first job as a reporter in New England, I could not understand what people were saying due to the thick regional accent. And, because I needed to get their quotes right, I often had to ask them to spell words I didn’t make out, like “tour.”
23Obviously The Screwdriver Belongs To Phillip
Seriously, dad, what’s wrong with your screwdriver? I have to call Uncle Phil again?
24Spoiler Alert: France Is NOT Made Of Bacon
Note to self: Cancel trip to France …
24Because, Everyone Needs An Adulting Name
25This Should Totally Be A Thing
If your clothes aren’t ready in an hour they have to give you a martini. That should be the rule.
26How You Traumatize The Kids
And, just how did these children get into my stomach?
27I Feel You … Thought This For YEARS
How could there be 26 letters in the alphabet if ‘LMNO’ was one letter? I struggled to figure this out for years.
28Meet Miss Elainia
Why is Miss Elainia on every list? She must be pretty freakin’ important.
29No, Don’t Take Off The Law Suit!
A suit worn by lawyers should absolutely be called a law suit. And, you can drink martinis while you get it martinized.
30Soooo Relived The Gorillas Aren’t In A War
Every time I heard the word “guerilla” on the news as a kid I was traumatized because I thought people were fighting gorillas.
31What Really Happens At A Baby Shower
I can see how this could be confusing and terrifying for a kid who thinks they’re going to be involved in group bathing.
32Seriously, Amiright? Why Was Everyone Down With This
The song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is pretty much an inside joke for adults, which can’t be explained to children without revealing the truth about Santa. But, parents, this is really traumatizing for kids with two parents who are led to believe that one of them is committing adultery with Santa. TBH, we never asked for clarification because we thought your close relationship with Santa meant more toys. Going forward, can we all agree that parents keep that whole Santa-kissing business to themselves?
On the flip side, one of my mom’s co-workers told her he was going to a Barenaked Ladies concert. She was beyond horrified that this person would not only attend such an event, but also felt the need to share his creepy weekend plans with her. I can’t even explain the relief that washed over her face when I explained that Barenaked Ladies is a band. Parents, apparently they’re just like us after all.
Source: Lady Gaga